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Alextronic Discovery
An Electronic Discovery Blog covering News, Articles
and Thoughts for the Legal and Corporate Community Author: Alexander H. Lubarsky, LL.M., Esq. - alubarsky@enterusa.com - Tel. (415) 533-4166 OR 800-375-4222 THIS BLAWG IS NOT AFFILIATED WITH THE WEB SITES WWW.DISCOVERYRESOURCES.ORG OR WWW.DISCOVERYRESOURCES.COM


Monday, October 11, 2004

I'm baaaaack...  

No, not dissin' the Blawg and would not dream of letting down my fellow blawgerheads... just been on a whirlwind tour... the ARMA conference in Long Beach, the Mitratech show in Las Vegas, the ABA Environmental Section meeting in San Antonio, TX and the California State Bar annual meeting in Monterey. I've slept in my own bed two days in the last two weeks... It's been nuts. I also have two more gigs this month... so there is no rest from the Alextronic...

My favorite story from the road this time... without a doubt.

The 5th circuit swearing in ceremony in San Antonio.

My good buddy, John, whose long and varied career I always envied put me up in San Antonio. John had worked for the Government as a special agent, then joined the Peace Corps in the Dominican Republic, then became an attorney, then a cop and now an attorney again. John is one of them guys that just can't sit still... you know the type. The type we all envy.

Anyways, true to form, John just picks up one days and moves from the Bay Area to San Antonio with his wife. They quickly purchases a sprawling one acre spread with five bedrooms, four bathrooms, a pool with a waterfall feeding it, a basketball court and other amenities on his palacial estate for the price of a dilapidated studio in the shady area of town where I am from here on the Bay Area Peninsula).... That bastard! But I will bleed my pent up envy in another Alextronic entry...

So, I forego the hotel and crash with John and his lovely wife and daughter. He wakes me up one morning and asks me if I'd like to come to his swearing in ceremony at the Federal Court house. He had just met the requirements to swear into the Fifth Circuit court.

We make our way past the River Walk and countless Bar-B-Q joynts. Once settled into a bench inside the courtroom, the Bailiff reads a scripted introduction for the Judge before he enters the room. The bailiff mentions something about God blessing the USA but more importantly, God blessing Texas. The judge, a seventy-something intimidating figure with silver hair (well, that which remains appeared silver) takes his seat and gives a touching lecture about affirmative action, Brown vs. Board of Education and, of course, true to his San Antonio spirit, he works the Alamo into his little delivery. The Judge recalls the days when Blacks and women could not practice law in Texas and calls on the new admittees to work to promote positive social change and end continuing racism that runs in the veins of this country. He gave a good pep talk and his words held meaning and wisdom.

After his touching remarks, the Judge calls up the eight or so attorneys for admission and the takings of their oaths. He swears each one in and then chats with them a bit. For the women, he asks about their law schools and where they practice. They are summarily congratulated and moved aside. It's the boys he really wants to chat with.

"So counselor, I see you went to University of Texas Austin Law School... is that right?"

"Yes, your honor."

"So... did you catch the whole season?"

"Excuse me, your honor?"

"Y'know what I'm talkin' about, boy, did you have season tickets or not?"

"Are you talking about football, your honor?"

"I sure ain't talkin about cheesecake, counselor... so did you see UT whip U. Miss in 2001?"

It went on like that... The men were asked about football without exception... who they rooted for, where they went to high school and what position (not "if they played" but "what position") they DID play. The Judge seemed to know each high school's win/loss record and coaching staff dating back a decade or more. If this guy knew the law half as well as he knew high school football, then someone appointed the right guy for his job.

The responses were uniform... "Linebacker sir," "quarterback, your honor" " tight end, judge".

Then came the European guy.

Now this dude was a Euro through and through. His name was Bertan. He was Dutch and wore a bow tie and rose colored loafers. When the judge asked about his past, he rattled off an impressive CV ... educated at Oxford, represented a multi-national corporation in Spain, spent some time in South Africa helping to draft a new constitution, did a fellowship at Yale, taught law at Venderbilt and was now a partner at a top Texas law firm heading up their new international transactions practice. Not too shabby.

The Judge stared at the Euro, unphased by his worldly accomplishments... the judge dropped his jaw slightly, scratched his head and said with his trademark aire of authority mixed with a few spoonful of agitation... He thought for a second and quizzickly remarked, "yeah, well that is all good and well, but tell me there Bertan..., did you ever play any football?"

At that moment, as I used every ounce of strength to keep myself from falling into a fit of uncontrollable laughter in the hallowed halls, I knew I was in the deep heart of Texas.

-Alextronic

Substantive EDD and Lit Support stuff this week... I promise.

posted by Alexander | 1:29 AM

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